Electric Toothbrushes¶
I’ve got an electric toothbrush. We had a very similar one before leaving the US, but since it wasn’t rated for 240V AC, we got a new one after arriving here.
It’s an Oral-B Braun model D505 something something. I don’t know how they decide on model numbers for these things, but it says 3772 on the bottom.
Anyway, it’s got a few things, like the one it replaced, that make it a good product: The battery is inside a waterproof handle, with a molded thing that sits on the charger. The charger is inductive, so there are no connectors on the toothbrush itself. These are nice features in a thing that’s going to get wet. It’s also got a cool red LED ring around the base of the brush attachment that lights up when you push too hard. This is nice for people who brush their teeth in front of mirrors, which is probably most of them. I think this is new since the previous model, and it feels like a worthwhile improvement.
However, this model adds some other new features that our previous toothbrush did not have that are less salubrious.
Sometimes, when I pick up the toothbrush from its brilliant charging stand and push the power button, nothing happens. I can only assume that there’s some sort of timer installed by the designers intended to maximize frustration. If I push the button again, it will usually turn on, but very occasionally not. It’s not that I don’t push it forcefully enough or anything. I just tried it again, and I pushed that button with authority on the first try. It made the unsatisfying click sound that dome switches tend to make when you push them all the way down, but nothing happened. Then I pushed it again and the motor whirred to life.
Since this happens every day, I have to assume that it was done on purpose by toothbrush engineers who hate their lives and want others to feel the same. The next nuisance comes when I push the button again. This time, something always happens. You might think, having been exposed to things like electric toothbrushes, that if pushing the power button on a toothbrush that is running does something, that thing would be to turn it off. In this case, you would be wrong.
Instead, it goes into quiet mode. In this mode, the motor runs more slowly, but it will still spray everything with toothpaste-infused saliva if you pull the brush out of your mouth. Then, on another push of the button, it winds down further before spinning back up to full speed, then spinning back down to low and repeating the cycle.
What the heck is diamond mode? Is that for bond villains? (source)¶
Finally, on the fourth press of the power button (fifth if you count the ineffectual first), the toothbrush turns off. Remember that all these extra button pushes have to happen with a thing inside your mouth unless you want to spray the room with mouth goop.
Here’s a thought nobody’s ever had: “I would like to get an electric toothbrush, but these ones only have one speed.” If someone wants the sensitive teeth version, they can use the sensitive teeth brush head. The product page for this toothbrush lists 13 different brush heads, not counting the different colors or combination packs.
Whoever allowed this product to go on the market in this state should have their license taken away. They took a thing that could have been held up as an example of good design and turned it into a daily source of just a little bit of frustration. It shouldn’t have to be this way.